I am a lost person.
I am lost here in the middle of my life.
On the waves of this suburban ocean.
The only thing to do is to stay in the boat indefinitely and forever.
But oh goodness, to drown.
To float down, down, down into the soft bed of the ocean.
To feel the tremor of my muscles as they strike out in an unknown direction.
To feel the heat of terror, burning through me and to know that either I have made the worst mistake of my life
Or something else.
My, oh my, there is nothing more beautiful than rain bouncing on scorched earth.
The sizzle and the smell of parched earth opening its pores.
I want to stay here on the edge of the world, but, oh, the endless pull of the waves.
I lose myself again and again.